She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
