ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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