Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
