She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
