I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
this just has baby written all over it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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