Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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