how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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