Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Randomize
