lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
where am i from again
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
