Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
