so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
