This girl is more easily done than said...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
