there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
