oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
