Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
