Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i drank out of a bidet.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize