if i can run in heels then i can drive
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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