thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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