So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
