Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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