Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
