I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
