She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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