I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
