how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
