Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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