I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
