Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
