i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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