i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
