I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize