where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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