when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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