just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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