Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
