...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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