Apparently you make a good broom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
