If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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