More tranny stories later!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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