Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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