So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
