I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
