Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
