On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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