I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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