he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize