You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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