So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize