belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
