I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
