so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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