You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
