Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize