Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
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YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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