all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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