Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We got so high we made milksteak
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
