New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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