Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
