now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
