Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
