if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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