i think my mom watched the whole time
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
