Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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