By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
