I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
