just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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