Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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