Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
