Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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