Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
