i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The adults are the big ones right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
