its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
