Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She just used a chaser for red wine.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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