he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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