Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
