So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
