Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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