She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
