Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
