Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
